This previous experience was very much necessary, in order to progress past karma which held me into contracts. I often had dreams where I was asked to sign contracts and would turn away – knowing it was the old astral agreements that I had once been submissive too. I was finding a spiritual empowerment within me that led me to a place where nothing and nobody could hold me down under their thumb.
I don’t regret the magician experience – I thank god for it! It spurred me into learning a lot about my path and within a year I signed a whole new contract for the next stage of my life. A contract to heal energies and people – from a divine seventh level experience. Also to wake others up about their gifts.
Spirit is always tapping people on the shoulder, saying ‘HEY YOU ARE SO GIFTED AT THAT! You make people smile! You make GOD smile!’ So my new contract was also in regards to reflecting peoples gifts…especially through numerology.
Sometimes people are so deep in mud, that they have trouble letting their gifts shine. So when they are around me I move and clear their energy, through any means necessary. It may take honesty, love, massage, healing and a gift.
This gift inevitably involves an exchange of love for another form of love. Love comes in all sorts of physical and emotional forms. For instance ‘hate’ is love upside down. You can only hate someone if you love them! When I meet people, even over the internet, I feel a wonderful love for them. It wasn’t something i just started to do – I had always done this. But it is a conscious choice for me now – giving love that is! Recieving gifts is a part of the process. The gifts I receive help me to do my work – even the most challenging ones.
For instance… One day I went for a coffee with a Reiki Master. He did not take this endowment very seriously – though he was very talented. He was very sensitive to energies and had a lot of trauma around him. His mother had told him various past life stories which further held him captive to lower energy states. These may have been true – but past lives are not our essence and we have to believe we are more than that in order to heal.
After I left he gripped very hard onto me spiritually. He sent messages saying he had not felt this good since his attunement and he wanted to see me asap, so he wouldn’t lose this feeling i had given him. I told him, all I had done was open his heart (appreciated a blue bird landing near us etc) and he was feeling what he could always feel – his own spirit.
I didn’t tell him, but that night after meeting him I was meditating. I was sitting at a campfire with my spirit guide and that of my young child’s. I remember White Buffalo saying suddenly – ‘Be Strong! Its coming –hold!’. A huge wave of dark energy loomed over me and collided with me. I could hardly focus on my visualisation and my guide spoke me through the feelings i was experiencing and I did healing to rebalance.
What had happened is the Reiki Master had unconsciously sent me his love, combined with the need to always receive my care – he was scared he would lose those special feelings about himself. For once he felt everything was ‘ok’. Needless to say while he couldn’t sleep for the next few days – I was heavily drained from receiving his needy and tainted energy. I was very tired and had to break contact with him – but not before i told him what was happening and how to remedy his situation.
There is a theme i am trying to portray. Its the recurring theme of giving and receiving. Sometimes all people have to give is their sadness or their self distaste. When you give you also open yourself up to receiving, so life is balanced. All energy is this way. But when you work from the seventh level all you have to give is what god wants you to give. There is no need – it is what it is. There is no guilt – it is what it is. I trust completely that god and my higher energies have a divine plan which will see me safely through. I do not do my giving from a need to receive or I would not be able to transform the dark energy I receive in an eye blink.
That is where I went wrong in Part B – I needed so much back then. It was only until i surrendered that the light shone brightly. It was only until i didn’t have needs based on fears –until I only cared for myself and others as the beautiful gems we are – even those who are misunderstood and labelled.
If you would like to read some interesting stories, take a look at this blog
There are stories of transforming elemental energy, meeting ET’s, and accepting self love that I wrote at the start of the year. Please keep in mind I wrote 2 of these at very ungrounding moments.