My Awakening

This was just a diary entry. I am making it public cuz I feel strongly about it. I don’t mean to offend anyone. You don’t have to believe what I believe. I love you no matter what for who YOU are. This just happens to be who I am. I hope you still love me no matter what.


Through the years I had other problems besides money issues. Like my marriage or my parents. So besides believing things will get better, a LOT of praying went into this also. But I see God differently than the normal way most people do. God is not a person or a Him or in a Heaven waiting for us to behave ourselves to get into Heaven.

Instead, I see God as energy within all of us. We are all apart of each other and God. Since God is bigger than life and created not only these planets and universe but lots of other universes. How can one man do that?  God MUST be bigger than all of those universes or else his energy is. With that in mind and my thoughts of believing I can achieve what ever I believe I can, that is what I focus on when I want something and I usually get what I want.

With that came this opened door to this other thing that I cannot even describe. All I can say is that I know this energy is with me that has me feel things from people that I couldn’t feel before. Like my senses are stronger. I get this vibe from "others" that are around me. A couple of times I even heard their voice. I am not kidding you. You know I am no KooKoo, Liz.

One time early in the morning I was trying to wake up to get ready for work and I just couldn’t wake up. Then I heard a voice say, "How can I help you if you won’t wake up!"  I woke up suddenly. I looked around the room. No one was there. It was a woman’s voice but yet not a talking voice but more of a thought from someone else. Was I dreaming?

I got in the shower and then it hit me. I knew within my gut there is someone there within me. Their always has been. They help me get through life. Scientist call it your conscience cuz they have no other explanation or it. Notice in the words ‘con-science’. They are just laughing at us cuz we bought it!

But it’s the ones on the other side helping you through life telling you what to do. If you ever get that feeling that something is just not right and you need to run. That is them helping you since birth.

It’s also a fact that you have lived before so your soul has already experienced what you are just learning in this life. So if you have a fear of heights for no apparent reason it’s probably cuz you have fallen in a past life. You soul never forgets. Since I figured all this out, I have read more about it all and now I have an easier outlook on life. I know why we are all here. Just the word "knowing" is more profound in my vocabulary now than ever before. It’s nothing you can find in any Bible or church. All of this is already within you but no one teaches it cuz it’s not SEEN.

We are raised to get closer to God through religion and church and all the rules and dogma. "Don’t do this and don’t do that. And you’re going to hell if…"  All of that FEAR is to keep you from the truth. The truth is that you already have the power within your own mind and body. The Bible was MAN-ipulated to serve the religions and churches. Not us. It was rewritten and changed from ‘the gods’ to ‘God’ so we wouldn’t know who was really running things back then.

This isn’t a get out of jail free card though. People are still not supposed to kill and stuff, but they are to know that not by the rules on tablets by Moses but by looking within themselves. Your mind and spirit is all you need to meet God and still be alive! I don’t like to sound like a 60’s Flower Power chick but LOVE is power! How do you think the deaf, blind, and crippled find God or get what they want when they can’t get to church? Do they automatically go to hell? Nope.

Or how about the bush tribes in Africa that don’t know anything about all of these hundred religions and where to find a church? Do they go straight to hell? Nope. We don’t need those things to be with the real God. That so called god in the Bible is not the real God. If you have ever read it you would understand. I have read 4 different versions of Bibles. That god is not our God. That book was made to scare us into their churches and religions. FEAR.

With Catholics and Christians they believe the only way to heaven is believing in Jesus. Well, those bush tribes don’t know anything about this Jesus person. Could God really create a heaven and hell and say, ‘to anyone who’s never heard of Jesus must go straight to hell.’ Or ‘whomever is not a Catholic or Christian must go straight to hell.’

Oh but wait! There is a ‘Limbo’ and a ‘Purgatory’ used as a waiting room so god can decide where you belong. 

In the Bible this god orders murders just cuz he wants power. He makes mistakes and has to be corrected by Moses and others. He is jealous. He is a murderer.  Not to mention he needs to fly on a metal disk in the sky (Ezekiel). Does this sound like our perfect God? Not mine.

Religion and politics. All are rich from our FEAR.  All of that keeps us 10 times further away from knowing God.  It’s always been there within us all along if we only pay attention. We could be 10 times closer to feeling the presence and the knowing if we only prayed looked within instead of looking up and reaching for the sky. Unless you want to pray to aliens.

They feed us this stuff so we never learn the truth… that we don’t need them to get close to God or the true meaning of our existence or the powers we already have.  They do this cuz its good business. Ever seen a poor Priest? A poor Pope? A poor Politician? 

I’m not saying they are all this way. There are those one or two whom are genuinely there for the people and go poor just to help the real needy. It’s sad that we don’t get to see them around though.

I have been studying this for a few years now and I will always be JUST a student, but my eyes are open now. I wish I could share this with others but because of the touchy subject matter, hardly anyone will listen. If anything they take offense. It’s sad. This is not a cult or new age anything. This is not satanism. It’s just us. People. We have a power that the powerful does not want us to realize.

It’s time to WAKE UP.